The spaces in between...

I can't quite describe how I feel right now... My stomach feels uneasy.  Now, I don't know if that is just because I haven't eaten anything but a granola bar today or if it's part of why I can't seem to step foot out of Drew's apartment.

I had a great day yesterday.  Drew spent the whole day with me.  It was so nice, that feeling of security, knowing he was doing his best to make sure I had an awesome time.  He got me pretty drunk, bought me a fab present and walked me home to put me to bed.

I'm glad Cat is home, it was too quiet and uninteresting without her around.  I felt no need to be home when she was gone, so I neglected the house.  But the Ortress will be full tonight, with people brimming to see her - and get their gifts she brought back from Japan.

But still, as the sun is shining and the birds are chirping...  I feel nothing but a bland feeling.  I'm unimpressed, a little depressed and really lonely and I don't want to face the world.  Work called in, they are short staffed... I really don't want to be there right now, so I ignored the call.  I'm not scheduled OR on-call... so I don't feel that I should be available to them.  That attitude is how I feel in general.  And me just sitting here moping is doing nothing but feeding this feeling and making it grow.  It's not a big deal, but I just wish my mood matched the weather.

Anyway, I need to go to the bank to get Cat the rest of my rent money.  I didn't quite make it on my own, but it WAS only three weeks of pay that I have received so far.  And I'm trying to keep my credit card balance at a nice obtainable $100 each bill... I would rather it be at zero but I just can't do it this month.

On a brighter note, school is done for me.... I only have to submit this last paper and I'm DONE FOREVER.  Thank god... I don't think I could stand anymore York University if I tried.  SHIT, I was supposed to go pick up a loaner hood from Sarah at UECR today...  but since my family is bickering and unhappy, I won't rush.  I was only getting a BA hood so that I could take pictures with my grandmother.  But family right now is a whole OTHER story that I just won't get into.

Let's just leave it at - I'm so glad for my chosen family.